Decisions

Are you fond of making decisions? I was not.

The beginning of our life was never our decision. Somebody has to make that decisions for us. Our parents. I am into the impression that we are not designed to decide.

No one was born with decision making skill. It is something learned. As we grow up and gain knowledge, we start learning how to make decisions.

I spent my formative years in a seminary where everything is structured. We have time for everything. There is a set time for wakingup. Time to hear mass. Time for prayer. Time for eating. Time for resting. From an outside perspective, it was not freedom. At that time, i also felt it restrictive. Only after getting out that i realized how much  i miss that structured organized life.

On the book awaken the giant within by Anthony Robbins, the author encourages us to make more decisions to master the skill of decision making. And since i am also still on my mental diet, this was an exciting but challenging task for me.

If you are following me in facebook, you know that I had some problems with my son not wanting to go to school. We solved it by having a heart to heart talk to him and givng him structure. A step by step schedule from the waking up to getting to school. It worked! It was easier for him to follow that structure and we are all happy. Somehow, i inferred that until we master the skill of making decisions, we always long for someone making the decisions for us.

It was effective as long as the steps are followed. Hoever, it is a team effort. Part of the step is his mom giving him a bath. It was a non-negotiable for my son. If mommy is not giving him a bath then it is a no school day for him. The routine worked for awhile but it is not fail proof. More often than not, my wife has to render long hours of officework and she made the decision to wait for my 1pm - 10pm shift before going home rather than taking the long tiring commute.

At times, she really need to catch more sleep since our second son cries for milk at dawn. During that times, she is unable to wake up early. She will get cranky if she is forced to wake up. And if she does not wake up and does not help my son,  He too gets cranky and decides not to go to school. I will get frustrated too. I will feel bad. I am dissappointed with my wife and with my son. i will give in to the fact that my son ends up not going to school yet the feeling of frustration will haunt for me for the rest of the day.

Then came the mental diet. The challenge is to be positive all the time and to focus on the solutions. It is a very difficult but it somehow helps me to cope up. I have been waking up early since Tuesday despite my midshift schedule to be in LTO by 8 am. I have to work on renewing our car's registration and transferring the car title under my wife's name. 

I would not go into detail how it went but for sure you know the feeling of transacting with a government institutuion. Again, it helped that i am forcing myself to think positivie.

Now, going back to my son. His mom has to work longer hours this week. You know the drill. She needs to recharge and it would not be nice forcing her to wake up early. I changed my perspective and instead of nagging her and nagging my son, i decided to just go through the process as calmly as i can.

While his mom did not give him a bath, i diverted my son's attention into talking about our plans for the weekend and talking about school. It worked from tuesday to thursday but was not so effective today. What changed? My decision.

He woke up as scheduled. Earlier in fact. He's up 6:30. For the past three days, i forced myself to talk to him while he eat and prepare. Today,  i just let him be. And that was a bad decision on my part. By 7:30 i can hear his wailing and the mood has changed. My son is cranky and does not want to go to school anymore. His pattern was interrupted. Old me would immediately put the blame to my wife but this time i decided to take control. I  ignored the negative feeling knowing that what i focus on expands. One cry will ruin my day and it is unfair to myself. Took a heavy sigh and tried the whispering technique. Whispered the Saturday plan to my son and it worked. Told him that Saturday is a transportation day. (I'm visitng my dentist tomorrow and i am planning to commute.) He stopped  crying. I am sure he got excited about the prospect of riding the jeepney, bus tricycle and mrt all on the same day. 

I have completed my seventh book and would like to share pointers about decison making.

1 Harness the power of decidion making.

2 Remember the true power of making decisions

3 Realize that the hardest step in achieving anything is making a true commitment - a true decision

4 Make decisions often

5 Learn from your decisions

6 Stay committed to your decisions but stay flexible in your approach

7 Enjoy making decisions

Power of making decisions

If you look and assess oyour emotions, events and those that stresses you, do realize that it all happens because you made a decision.  An approaching deadline might be stressing you now and looking back, it might be stressing you now because you made a decision back then to procrastinate on it.

You might be feeling dissappointed  right now because the result you are expecting is not happening. Someone you expect to do something failed to deliver results. The author emphasizes that whatever happens, we have a control. We decide. We decide whether these events or things will stress us or not. We decide whether we are going to on panic mode or just calmly tackle the task at hand with the best of our abilities given the limited time. Awareness to decision making helps us remind ourselves that we are in control. It may be true that we do not control how people around us will act or the events that will happen but at the end of the day, we are in control of how we are going to react.

Make decisions often.

This is a learning for me. I hate decision making. Thismust be the reason why i hate grocery shopping. It entails a lot of decision making. :D Seriosuly though, i am one of those who rants "why do i have to make all these decisions" when i am so busy and bombarded by smaller tasks.

The author suggest to master the skill of decision making. Not just letting it flow but conscious decision making. How many of us make a decision just for the sake of making a decision? Cge yan na lang is a scary decision making skill. Take charge! That is what the author suggests.

Lastly, enjoy the processs of decision making. It is one of the greatest gift we have. Freedom to decide. Use it.

"Decide to build your own dreams or others will hire you to build theirs"